I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
Randomize
