its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
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