Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
Randomize
