I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
Randomize