so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
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