mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
Randomize
