she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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