Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Randomize