If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
Randomize
