We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
Randomize
