You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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