Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
