I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Randomize
