One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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