My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
Randomize
