That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
Welp...herpes.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
Randomize
