everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
Randomize
