Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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