im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
Randomize
