I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
SEEEEXXX PLEASE
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Randomize
