Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Randomize
