They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
