Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
Randomize
