my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Randomize
