sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
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