when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
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