My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
Randomize
