I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
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