I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
No more Irish car bombs ever.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
Randomize
