the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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