My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Randomize
