I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
Randomize
