I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Randomize
