I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
Success! We fucked roommates!
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize
