i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
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