He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
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