you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
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he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
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I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
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