Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
God, I missed his penis.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
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