I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize
