At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
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