I'm gonna have a badass scar
you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
