well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
