my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
Randomize
