She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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