I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
Randomize
