Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
Randomize
