Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
Randomize
