They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
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