Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
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