Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Come see our sink grown plant.
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
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