Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
Randomize
