I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
I got her a Nickelback box set.
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
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