so explain again why im purple
no
I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
Randomize
