I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
Randomize
