You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
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