too bad you live with your parents still
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
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