just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
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