I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
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