I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
